Where have I been for so long?
Just around.
I'll come and chat with you this week; I promise.
Monday, 15 October 2012
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
Sunshine and sea.
It's so lovely here today in Fredrickstad. I arrived Sunday evening to rain as I stepped off the plane, sunshine left behind in the UK.
I'm sitting here on the balcony with a breeze blowing and to be honest it's colder than I thought but I am in the shade.
I can hear the water just gently crashing the boats that are moored here, maybe 40 metres from me, and the sun just glistening. It's so peaceful; I almost don't want to go home on Friday.
I walked Monday while my other half was at work. I don't know about you but when I go to a new place I like to walk so that I can get my bearings and see what's around me. Let me tell you, this is a small town and after walking for circa an hour I had passed one supermarket, two bus stops and not a large amount of vehicles. The road just seemed to go on forever, every turn was just another long and empty road.
Yesterday I followed directions given and walked to town, maybe a 45 minute walk and when I finally spied civilisation I smiled a thankful smile to myself.I walked over the bridge and along the waterfront to a lovely fine dining restaurant, Michael Moore 13. The decor is very swanky with dark wood and cream leather chairs, beautiful tableware and very friendly aim to please staff. I had the duck breast (which I could have eaten again to be honest) and vanilla ice cream in a strawberry soup with fresh raspberries and a drizzle of honey. I'm salivating just thinking about it.
I found a shopping precinct and bought a Norwegian sim as my phone hasn't had any service since I arrived, but you know what; I have really enjoyed being phone free, only bought one because my other half can't get hold of me and vice versa. Oh and just so you know, sim cards are not free here as in the UK. I had to pay 200 krona (circa £20) and you get a fiver of credit included. Rip off.
I walked for a few hours at the back of town, through streets of timber houses ending at a church. I was actually trying to find the old town but don't think I ventured far enough. I was pretty knackered actually and knew my walk home was going to be a long one and I couldn't call a cab because;
A: I didn't have a phone,
B: I have no idea of the address that I'm at and,
C: My Norwegian is non existent( I do intend to rectify this but, so hard to comprehend)
Anyway, I'm definitely going to find the old town tomorrow before I head home on Friday and I am definitely having lunch at Michael Moore13.
I'm sitting here on the balcony with a breeze blowing and to be honest it's colder than I thought but I am in the shade.
I can hear the water just gently crashing the boats that are moored here, maybe 40 metres from me, and the sun just glistening. It's so peaceful; I almost don't want to go home on Friday.
I walked Monday while my other half was at work. I don't know about you but when I go to a new place I like to walk so that I can get my bearings and see what's around me. Let me tell you, this is a small town and after walking for circa an hour I had passed one supermarket, two bus stops and not a large amount of vehicles. The road just seemed to go on forever, every turn was just another long and empty road.
Yesterday I followed directions given and walked to town, maybe a 45 minute walk and when I finally spied civilisation I smiled a thankful smile to myself.I walked over the bridge and along the waterfront to a lovely fine dining restaurant, Michael Moore 13. The decor is very swanky with dark wood and cream leather chairs, beautiful tableware and very friendly aim to please staff. I had the duck breast (which I could have eaten again to be honest) and vanilla ice cream in a strawberry soup with fresh raspberries and a drizzle of honey. I'm salivating just thinking about it.
I found a shopping precinct and bought a Norwegian sim as my phone hasn't had any service since I arrived, but you know what; I have really enjoyed being phone free, only bought one because my other half can't get hold of me and vice versa. Oh and just so you know, sim cards are not free here as in the UK. I had to pay 200 krona (circa £20) and you get a fiver of credit included. Rip off.
I walked for a few hours at the back of town, through streets of timber houses ending at a church. I was actually trying to find the old town but don't think I ventured far enough. I was pretty knackered actually and knew my walk home was going to be a long one and I couldn't call a cab because;
A: I didn't have a phone,
B: I have no idea of the address that I'm at and,
C: My Norwegian is non existent( I do intend to rectify this but, so hard to comprehend)
Anyway, I'm definitely going to find the old town tomorrow before I head home on Friday and I am definitely having lunch at Michael Moore13.
Saturday, 30 June 2012
BillyI just spoke to my uncle Billy who lives in Southern Spain. We skype as often as we can catch each other, maybe weekly, maybe longer.
He's such a dude and I adore him.We found each other late in life, kind of how it is with families. Everyone gets on with living and we all catch up at funerals. Shit but reality of many families.
So; what do I love about him?
Honestly if you met the guy you would fall in love. He's in his prime and so active. He's always running off to swim, golf, gym, bike, dive, ski. HE'S BLOODY BRILLIANT!
He's so astute, gives the best advice and last year when he gave me relationship advice, I realised that was the only time in my entire life that a man as near to a father figure had ever given me advice. It made me cry when I realised.
He's so handsome and such a geezer. No time for idiots and woe betide anyone that hurts people he cares about.
I would like to say I hope I'm just like you someday but that will never happen, he's way out of my league. xxxxx
Saturday 30th June 2012
Good morning; yes I know the font has changed but I figured as I'm using my left hand now....
So, update?
I went back to the fracture clinic on wednesday, had a new cast ( I chose the colour purple) and had a new xray. The good news is I really didn't want it pinned, not because of the scar factor, I'm not vain enough to be bothered by that; but for the time factor in healing. So the doc says;
"we're not going to pin it, it could be in a better place but it's acceptable. Are you a musician or athlete?"
"No,I work in retail. Why, are you telling me that if I played the violin you would pin it, but because I work in a shop you won't?"
"Well, not exactly but if you used your hand we would want you to have maximum mobility"
"And I don't need maximum because I work in a shop?" He looked slightly uncomfortable.
"Look; will my wrist look like this one" (my left)
"Yes"
"Will I be able to move it just as this one?"
"Yes"
I should have told him I'm a writer and photographer....
I met a lovely lady in the waiting area. I sat in the physiotherapy area rather than "zone 2" and she was sitting next to me. We never exchanged names, it wasn't necessary. She was very slight, early 60's blonde bob, very simple and classy lady. She had a mastectomy circa 8 years ago. She met her partner maybe 12 months before her diagnosis and lost her son 5 years ago. He was 33 and had a seizure alone at home which still pains her. We talked about angels. She believes he is with her often and white feathers have fallen at her feet on 3 occasions. I told her there are earth angels that will come into her life just at the moment they are needed.She was hoping to get in and out because it was her grandaughter's sports day. I hope she made it.
So, off I go for another follow up next Wednesday and I am hoping I don't need to go back for 2 weeks so I can catch my flight to see my very lovely man.
When you break a limb, you really don't realise the implications of performing daily routines.
I realised that to shower would be difficult, so kinda half showered standing on the bath mat, realised I can actually have a bath, which is far easier than showering, and it's so nice to be relaxed in the warm water.
Getting dressed is time consuming so I'm currently in tracky bottoms and t.shirt. Even as much as, you put your left arm through then realise you have to put your right through first, and putting on a bra; Oh my god, how difficult. You have to lay it beneath you, bring it over your waist, hold it in place with the cast, bring the other side over, struggle to hook it then stand up, manouvere it around and hoist in your boobs, Phew, then sit down exhausted!!
I figured I'll eat toast, easy, no hassle; you think!! I toasted my bread, had the spread, knife in my left hand and then thought; "hmm, how am I going to hold my toast to butter it" So now I'm on cereal.
Sleep has been very hit and miss for the whole week now. The constant brick weighing on you is so uncomfortable, and I'm really hoping that resolves itself because I look like shit far more than I feel like it.
I'm signed off for 6 weeks and so far I haven't been able to leave my home and not being able to drive limits me completely.
All in all I'm ok. This happened and I'll get over it.
As my Boo said "Babe, it's another hurdle and we'll get past it"
See you soon.
Good morning; yes I know the font has changed but I figured as I'm using my left hand now....
So, update?
I went back to the fracture clinic on wednesday, had a new cast ( I chose the colour purple) and had a new xray. The good news is I really didn't want it pinned, not because of the scar factor, I'm not vain enough to be bothered by that; but for the time factor in healing. So the doc says;
"we're not going to pin it, it could be in a better place but it's acceptable. Are you a musician or athlete?"
"No,I work in retail. Why, are you telling me that if I played the violin you would pin it, but because I work in a shop you won't?"
"Well, not exactly but if you used your hand we would want you to have maximum mobility"
"And I don't need maximum because I work in a shop?" He looked slightly uncomfortable.
"Look; will my wrist look like this one" (my left)
"Yes"
"Will I be able to move it just as this one?"
"Yes"
I should have told him I'm a writer and photographer....
I met a lovely lady in the waiting area. I sat in the physiotherapy area rather than "zone 2" and she was sitting next to me. We never exchanged names, it wasn't necessary. She was very slight, early 60's blonde bob, very simple and classy lady. She had a mastectomy circa 8 years ago. She met her partner maybe 12 months before her diagnosis and lost her son 5 years ago. He was 33 and had a seizure alone at home which still pains her. We talked about angels. She believes he is with her often and white feathers have fallen at her feet on 3 occasions. I told her there are earth angels that will come into her life just at the moment they are needed.She was hoping to get in and out because it was her grandaughter's sports day. I hope she made it.
So, off I go for another follow up next Wednesday and I am hoping I don't need to go back for 2 weeks so I can catch my flight to see my very lovely man.
When you break a limb, you really don't realise the implications of performing daily routines.
I realised that to shower would be difficult, so kinda half showered standing on the bath mat, realised I can actually have a bath, which is far easier than showering, and it's so nice to be relaxed in the warm water.
Getting dressed is time consuming so I'm currently in tracky bottoms and t.shirt. Even as much as, you put your left arm through then realise you have to put your right through first, and putting on a bra; Oh my god, how difficult. You have to lay it beneath you, bring it over your waist, hold it in place with the cast, bring the other side over, struggle to hook it then stand up, manouvere it around and hoist in your boobs, Phew, then sit down exhausted!!
I figured I'll eat toast, easy, no hassle; you think!! I toasted my bread, had the spread, knife in my left hand and then thought; "hmm, how am I going to hold my toast to butter it" So now I'm on cereal.
Sleep has been very hit and miss for the whole week now. The constant brick weighing on you is so uncomfortable, and I'm really hoping that resolves itself because I look like shit far more than I feel like it.
I'm signed off for 6 weeks and so far I haven't been able to leave my home and not being able to drive limits me completely.
All in all I'm ok. This happened and I'll get over it.
As my Boo said "Babe, it's another hurdle and we'll get past it"
See you soon.
Friday 22nd June 2012
This morning at 4:15 I left my home to start my journey to the airport, to see my lovely man.
This morning at 4:15 I left my home to start my journey to the airport, to see my lovely man.
So; why am I here in my bed with a cup of tea and a box of jaffa cakes? Because I slipped on a wet step and broke my wrist.I'm so gutted and I realise how difficult it is to lose the use of a hand.
It was a second, I knew I had fallen and the pain was horrific but for a few seconds you tell yourself; "get up T, you have to get to the airport and catch your flight, you can hack this, it will pass" but then; you look at the limb and know the distortion clearly evident means you are going no-where.
I lay there screaming in pain shouting for help and bless them all, neighbours came to my rescue. I'm so sorry to have disturbed their sleep but oh so grateful. They got me blankets, cushion for my head and stayed with me until the ambulance came. Thank you so much.
I guess what followed was the norm, paramedics came, assessed the situation, put me in the back of their pick up truck, and thankfully gave me morphine; 3 shots apparently. I know my bp lowered and I kind of passed out, you know when you can hear everything but can't hear yourself breathing? just that kind. I heard the heart monitor beep beep then beep....beep....beeeeep then I heard myself exhale deeply felt as though I was smiling and opened my eyes to the driver standing beside me with 2 black paddles in his hands. All I thought was, "how and why is he standing there, he was driving the ambulance just now"
Prior to this they had to remove my mac (my fav ever GAP mac that I've had years) but the pain was awful. "We may have to cut it off to get it over your wrist"
"Yeah that's fine just do it,
"Wait, may be able to do it"
"Just cut it, the pain's too bad"
"Are you sure?"
"It's just a fucking coat, cut it please!!"
Hence followed the morphine and passing out.
So they took me to hospital, passed over the situation and went about their day to the next caller.
"Thank you for your help, sorry for swearing"
You're welcome, take care"
So, next step. Into a cubicle, doctor speaks, down to x ray;( now that was painful because they twist your arm to get a clear pic) and back to the doc again. To be honest I was pretty knackered and drowsy; would have been quite happy if they had just closed the curtain and put me to sleep for the afternoon.
Good looking doc, early thirties, dark hair, kind eyes, nice voice and hands.
"Nasty break, you are going to need it pinning, the bit of bone between your wrist and hand (apparently named the cup and saucer) is sitting on the side of your wrist, and your wrist is broken in 3 places, you have also compressed all the bones in your hand"
"I don't want it pinning, I wont get the use back and I'll be deformed" (drama queen)
"We'll manipulate it then review it in a few days"
So off we go again, this time the plaster room.
There were two student nurses there, chatting to each other, obviously hadn't received their patient care training yet; the plasterer, doc and another nurse.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes thanks"
"She's a bit quiet"
"She's had 3 shots of morphine"
"Oh, no wonder"
The good looking doc then injected a cocktail "this is the equivalent of 5 gin & tonics, you'll feel great" another injection into my broken arm ( again the f word raised it's head) and he was right, I didn't feel a thing.
I was vaguely aware of the plasterer pulling my forearm and the doc shaking and pulling my hand vigorously but it didn't matter, I felt no pain. I heard someone say " Is she ok?" "It's her first time" poor student nurse, then I felt a cold wet slap on my arm and that was it, back in the cubicle where I seemed to doze for ages with a oxygen mask that I was chastised for removing because apparently my oxygen levels were too low and I couldn't leave until they were 100%.
I asked if I could go home eventually, was told I would have to go to the fracture clinic next door to make my appointment for the following day. "where is that?" "Just go out the main building and it's the next building".
So, I take my luggage, hospital bag with my mac,(why oh why did I take my luggage?did I really think I was going to the airport afterwards?) and go to the fracture clinic when all I want to do is go home. I gave the receptionist my letter, "Monday, next appointment". "They said tomorrow, I can't come here Monday" (that's my birthday and I really don't want to spend it sitting in a fracture clinic when I should be in another country with my gorgeous man) "take a seat and I'll see if the consultant can see you today, go and sit in zone 1.
I sat in zone 2 because there were less people, by this time tears are rolling down my face, I'm totally exhausted, feel sick, immensely sorry for myself (my life is over, I'm going to be deformed forever, like I said, drama queen) Yes Boo. There's a handcuffed prisoner with two officers sitting opposite all looking at me.
After maybe 20 minutes I went back to the reception ( new receptionist)
"Excuse me,I'm waiting to see if I'm being seen today"
"Do you have a appointment?"
"No, I was sent from A&E"
"Well if you haven't got a appointment you wont be seen, do you have your notes?"
"No, I gave them to the guy and he told me to sit"
I'm crying again, like a stupid fool. I just want to go home and get into bed.
"Oh yes, you have an appointment at 11"
So I've got 15 minutes to get a bottle of water before I pass out again. I went to the cafe bought a bottle of water and cried again because I couldn't even open it. The lady came from behind the counter sat me down and opened it for me. I'm in such pain and so exhausted, this is hour seven since I fell this morning at 4:15 and I just want to get out of here.
I see the next consultant, fair, rugby player type, caring nature, soulful eyes.
"Your wrist has been manipulated and they've done a pretty good job but we will need to put a plate in because it's very unlikely it will hold"
Again I go down the cripple route and ask if there's anyway I can avoid having it pinned. He goes off to discuss with his boss and returns with the same news.
"I'm going to give you a prescription for painkillers"
"can I get them from the chemist near me?"
"no, you need to go to the hospital pharmacy, out of here, into the main building, up the ramp, past greggs (the bakers) take a left, up to the next floor..... by this time I've stopped listening.
"I just need to get out of this place and go home"
" you look exhausted"
"I am, I'm knackered" So I call a cab and leave. Hence jaffa cakes and tea until Wednesday for the next installment.
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Sunday
Morning all, just about to jump out of this bed and get on with my day. The laptop is beside me but, oh the joys of the iPhone.
My cat Pixie is snuggled beside me and miu miu has just used the bathroom just as she does every morning. I can hear her in there scratching away, I have no idea why she decided that the bath was her favourite place to poo but it is. Crazy cat.
Really need a cup of coffee and a wee.
You know when you hang on for so long in bed but your time is up? Well I'm there.
I really need to go shopping but Steve Laming plays 12-2
www.afro-disiac.co.uk and he plays great stuff, house, jazz funk, rare grooves, great Sunday lunchtime, so I need to get a move on or head to town after. Yeah, maybe after.
My cat Pixie is snuggled beside me and miu miu has just used the bathroom just as she does every morning. I can hear her in there scratching away, I have no idea why she decided that the bath was her favourite place to poo but it is. Crazy cat.
Really need a cup of coffee and a wee.
You know when you hang on for so long in bed but your time is up? Well I'm there.
I really need to go shopping but Steve Laming plays 12-2
www.afro-disiac.co.uk and he plays great stuff, house, jazz funk, rare grooves, great Sunday lunchtime, so I need to get a move on or head to town after. Yeah, maybe after.
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Five Bells
Here at Colne Engaite in Essex with my mother and sis Maria for lunch. The pub is in a quaint little village with a fab dummy of the queen in the phone box outside. I have the sirloin medium rare, mum rare and they are cooked perfectly. Maria has the chicken with pea and bean risotto which is so nice; risotto creamy, beans still got a bite and the Parmesan basket filled with salad is pretty but totally unnecessary, I would prefer fresh over my risotto.
The chips are freshly made but a minute more for a golden finish would be great.
The pub is more than 500 years old and lists all the landlords from times gone by. I'm not so impressed by the decor but the food is all freshly cooked to order, the service is very friendly, and worth the drive to get here.
The chips are freshly made but a minute more for a golden finish would be great.
The pub is more than 500 years old and lists all the landlords from times gone by. I'm not so impressed by the decor but the food is all freshly cooked to order, the service is very friendly, and worth the drive to get here.
Monday, 4 June 2012
Today.
Arrived afer a 3 hour journey from the Midlands to the east coast of Essex to catch the sun set and capture some pics.
Anyway, it's 20:06 4/6/12 and I'm sitting on shingle with the tide out and distant birdsong. There are a couple walking who sat behind me for circa 10 minutes; everytime she laughed she snorted like a pig, her fella even called her piggy, weird laugh...
It's just getting a bit chilly but I have a hoody on so I'll be fine.
I'm going to see if my friend is home before I head back to the town; the last time I saw her we buried her gorgeous mumsie. It was a sad but very loving day. I will try to get to the cemetary tomorrow before I head home just to sit and talk with her. Not something I usually do; in fact I never visit people that have passed, but she's kind of calling to me to sit with her for a while. Miss you.xx
It's so peaceful here, if I died right here, right now I actually wouldn't mind.
The sun is starting to go down so I guess I will have to go soon. I thought I may pick up a connection but alas not so I'm writing a note which I will paste to my blog later.
I'm getting a little cold now,my hands and arse; shingles are not the comfiest of places to park yourself, so I'm going to pack up and head off for a cuppa (hopefully)
Anyway, it's 20:06 4/6/12 and I'm sitting on shingle with the tide out and distant birdsong. There are a couple walking who sat behind me for circa 10 minutes; everytime she laughed she snorted like a pig, her fella even called her piggy, weird laugh...
It's just getting a bit chilly but I have a hoody on so I'll be fine.
I'm going to see if my friend is home before I head back to the town; the last time I saw her we buried her gorgeous mumsie. It was a sad but very loving day. I will try to get to the cemetary tomorrow before I head home just to sit and talk with her. Not something I usually do; in fact I never visit people that have passed, but she's kind of calling to me to sit with her for a while. Miss you.xx
It's so peaceful here, if I died right here, right now I actually wouldn't mind.
The sun is starting to go down so I guess I will have to go soon. I thought I may pick up a connection but alas not so I'm writing a note which I will paste to my blog later.
I'm getting a little cold now,my hands and arse; shingles are not the comfiest of places to park yourself, so I'm going to pack up and head off for a cuppa (hopefully)
Sunday, 3 June 2012
Sunday in bed.
It's been a while, too long in fact since I came to this page.
So, here I am sitting in bed on a Sunday morning (3rd June) with a cup of black coffee on the bedside table to my left and my cat Pixie snuggled beside me on my right. I'm listening to Down to the Bone on youtube and can smell the lamb in the oven for lunch. I poured a bottle of apple and blackcurrant cider on it last night with sprigs of rosemary and some red onions. I have no idea how it's going to work but I'll let you know.
I'll maybe head to see family and friends East of the country tomorrow.
It's Jubilee weekend here in the U.K, 60 years on the throne for Queen Elizabeth and a great monarch she is (don't let anyone tell you otherwise) also Gay Pride weekend. All good stuff.
It's still raining, I hear it hit the window ( completely off the beat with Down to the Bone) and can only think back to the previous week when the weather was glorious and I was at work, but hey; that's English weather for you.
I really would like another cup of coffee and some toast, but then I would have to move, which in turn means leaving you stranded while I'm gone. Hmmm
So, here I am sitting in bed on a Sunday morning (3rd June) with a cup of black coffee on the bedside table to my left and my cat Pixie snuggled beside me on my right. I'm listening to Down to the Bone on youtube and can smell the lamb in the oven for lunch. I poured a bottle of apple and blackcurrant cider on it last night with sprigs of rosemary and some red onions. I have no idea how it's going to work but I'll let you know.
I'll maybe head to see family and friends East of the country tomorrow.
It's Jubilee weekend here in the U.K, 60 years on the throne for Queen Elizabeth and a great monarch she is (don't let anyone tell you otherwise) also Gay Pride weekend. All good stuff.
It's still raining, I hear it hit the window ( completely off the beat with Down to the Bone) and can only think back to the previous week when the weather was glorious and I was at work, but hey; that's English weather for you.
I really would like another cup of coffee and some toast, but then I would have to move, which in turn means leaving you stranded while I'm gone. Hmmm
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
This is me
This is me. Things that i like are the things that I like because they are all about me.
I like...walking in the rain.
I like....angry seas.
I like the wind that blows through the trees.
I like the seasons that come and go and bring with them change.
I like..... thunderstorms, clouds, the feel of grass under my feet.
I like .....cathedrals and churches, art galleries, jackson Pollock, marmite on toast.
I love my children, I love my family and close friends.
I like....birdsong,new life, families.
I love the sound of strings, music to feed the soul.
I like silence.
I like....culture.
I like the differences between people.
I like....loud music, especially when I'm driving and the sun shines.
I like singing out loud around the home.
I like....the sound of laughter, eyes that smile.
I like goodness within people.
I like ....a spiders web in the morning dew.
I like ....good short strong coffee.
I like....old black and white movies.
I like....sunrise and sunset.
I like....oversized jumpers.
I like trees and cranes.
I like....pyjama days.
I like Sunday mornings in bed.
I like....you.
I like...walking in the rain.
I like....angry seas.
I like the wind that blows through the trees.
I like the seasons that come and go and bring with them change.
I like..... thunderstorms, clouds, the feel of grass under my feet.
I like .....cathedrals and churches, art galleries, jackson Pollock, marmite on toast.
I love my children, I love my family and close friends.
I like....birdsong,new life, families.
I love the sound of strings, music to feed the soul.
I like silence.
I like....culture.
I like the differences between people.
I like....loud music, especially when I'm driving and the sun shines.
I like singing out loud around the home.
I like....the sound of laughter, eyes that smile.
I like goodness within people.
I like ....a spiders web in the morning dew.
I like ....good short strong coffee.
I like....old black and white movies.
I like....sunrise and sunset.
I like....oversized jumpers.
I like trees and cranes.
I like....pyjama days.
I like Sunday mornings in bed.
I like....you.
Why does there have to be a title?
Friday, 3 April 2009 at 22:01
It's a little chilly but the sun is high and the waves are lapping at my feet.Tiny waves but i'm sure pygmy gremlins could ride them with pleasure.
It's almost deserted, a few elderly ladies deep in conversation, no doubt important to them.A man is talking to a woman on a bench, his dog looks impatient, clearly wants to romp in the sea but his leash prevents this.
The sun is at 2 o' clock so I guess I can sit for hours if I so choose ( I will have to move my arse though, the waves will catch me in around 10 minutes).
How perfect is that sight? You know, the sun glistening on the waves as far as the eye can see. How complete I feel whenever I am at the waters edge. A deep breath and all is well in the world ( well, for a moment in time at least ).
Over and over, pebbles washed, all the life forms beneath the surface. Oysters are farmed here you know, famous for them.
Times up....wet feet. Hahahahaha.
It's almost deserted, a few elderly ladies deep in conversation, no doubt important to them.A man is talking to a woman on a bench, his dog looks impatient, clearly wants to romp in the sea but his leash prevents this.
The sun is at 2 o' clock so I guess I can sit for hours if I so choose ( I will have to move my arse though, the waves will catch me in around 10 minutes).
How perfect is that sight? You know, the sun glistening on the waves as far as the eye can see. How complete I feel whenever I am at the waters edge. A deep breath and all is well in the world ( well, for a moment in time at least ).
Over and over, pebbles washed, all the life forms beneath the surface. Oysters are farmed here you know, famous for them.
Times up....wet feet. Hahahahaha.
Death; The End;or The Beginning?
Friday, 26 June 2009 at 09:48
People die all day long, 24/7 but we don't think about it because we have no knowledge of them in our lives.
Death;
Death comes to us all as we well know, is sudden death the best option?
If we had a date on a calender circled "This is your last day" would we fear the day arriving, would we decide that therefore we have to live our lives here and now and stop "putting off til tomorrow?"
Does the death of someone close to our heart (no matter the distance) make us re-evaluate our time spent here on this earth?
Should we fear death? No, death is a part of being, and to fear it is wasted, for it will come one day whether we expect it through illness or suddenly whilst walking in the park.
So, is death really just the beginning of a newness in spirit? No matter who you pray to, what your beliefs are we will all leave one day, the point of life is here and now, to be the best that we can be, to pass on wisdom and goodness, maybe to save someone from themselves in times of despair, maybe to be saved and to pass on that goodness to another lost soul.
So; is death the end?
I think not. Death is the beginning of another learning in spirit, a place of peace and calm.
Death;
Death comes to us all as we well know, is sudden death the best option?
If we had a date on a calender circled "This is your last day" would we fear the day arriving, would we decide that therefore we have to live our lives here and now and stop "putting off til tomorrow?"
Does the death of someone close to our heart (no matter the distance) make us re-evaluate our time spent here on this earth?
Should we fear death? No, death is a part of being, and to fear it is wasted, for it will come one day whether we expect it through illness or suddenly whilst walking in the park.
So, is death really just the beginning of a newness in spirit? No matter who you pray to, what your beliefs are we will all leave one day, the point of life is here and now, to be the best that we can be, to pass on wisdom and goodness, maybe to save someone from themselves in times of despair, maybe to be saved and to pass on that goodness to another lost soul.
So; is death the end?
I think not. Death is the beginning of another learning in spirit, a place of peace and calm.
Lost Souls
Friday, 30 October 2009 at 19:39
A friend of mine lost a friend of theirs yesterday. The person was lost to a life of drugs.
I wrote this for him and I'm sharing it with you because we all know a
"Lost Soul"
For the soul that was lost,
Shed your tears.
For the soul that was lost,
Share your fears.
For the souls that have passed,
Smile, and be proud,
For they crossed your path,
But are now passed and found.
I wrote this for him and I'm sharing it with you because we all know a
"Lost Soul"
For the soul that was lost,
Shed your tears.
For the soul that was lost,
Share your fears.
For the souls that have passed,
Smile, and be proud,
For they crossed your path,
But are now passed and found.
To Love
Tina Allman on Friday, 22 January 2010 at 22:40
To love,
To want,
To know.
Do you truly know what's in your heart?
What is it that puts fear in you?
If you truly love, why do you throw it away?
When you can be immensely happy within your soul, when you smile with just a thought, why turn your back?
Is the fear of loving and losing greater than the pleasure found within yourself?
Love!
Love?
Does great love even exist?
Is complacency the best love that we can hope to find?
Are you ready to settle for easy?
To want,
To know.
Do you truly know what's in your heart?
What is it that puts fear in you?
If you truly love, why do you throw it away?
When you can be immensely happy within your soul, when you smile with just a thought, why turn your back?
Is the fear of loving and losing greater than the pleasure found within yourself?
Love!
Love?
Does great love even exist?
Is complacency the best love that we can hope to find?
Are you ready to settle for easy?
Me, you, them, us.
by Tina Allman on Thursday, 11 February 2010 at 14:07
Find a mirror. Stop.
What do you see?
Is that me, you, them us?
Look past the vision you see,
Look deep into the soul, What is that?
No, no, bypass the organs, go deep, as deep as is possible without drowning.
Close your eyes,
Feel the warmth,
See the light?
Have you found yourself swimming in the pool of life?
Take it.
Take it, It's being offered without clause, without expectation.
It's given freely, use it wisely for it belongs to no-one but me, you, them, us....
It's your life.
Live it,
Love it.
Don't wait, because you will wait too long and the light will go out.
What do you see?
Is that me, you, them us?
Look past the vision you see,
Look deep into the soul, What is that?
No, no, bypass the organs, go deep, as deep as is possible without drowning.
Close your eyes,
Feel the warmth,
See the light?
Have you found yourself swimming in the pool of life?
Take it.
Take it, It's being offered without clause, without expectation.
It's given freely, use it wisely for it belongs to no-one but me, you, them, us....
It's your life.
Live it,
Love it.
Don't wait, because you will wait too long and the light will go out.
The Beautiful Blue
by Tina Allman on Wednesday, 1 September 2010 at 22:28
Ah bless, the sound of the gulls; always fills me with contentment.
I'm sitting here on the pier, my feet dangling in someone's battered blue boat and it's perfect.
The light is fading so I guess I wont have long.
Sludge. The tide is slowly creeping in and I almost want to jump in just to see how deep I would go but how the hell would I get out again?
I would definitely lose my sneakers. hahahahaha .
A few people are crab fishing but that's it.
Just me, the gulls and the gentle sound of the sea as it gently laps against the boats.
Engine, someone just coming in on their little boat. Wonder if they were fishing? For?
Haha, There's the wave that follows.
How simple life is when at the water's edge. The most calming place and always where my heart feels happy. Where's your happy place?
I don't want to leave but dusk is falling and it really will be too dark to sit with my feet dangling in this beautiful blue boat any longer.
What do you think the gulls say to each other?
Guess the fishermen will be out early hours to cast their nets for the day. The simple life, wouldn't we all wish for one of those.
Slightly chilly right now and my arse is feeling it sitting on this cold metal pier but the boat draws me in.
Stay a while longer, it says.
Dangle your feet in my beautiful blue.
Thankyou for your hospitality, say I,
And yes, beautiful blue, I should be happy to spend my time with you.
Maybe 5 more, then I really must leave,
But return with pleasure and see,
If you should happen to be moored against the pier,
So my feet may dangle once more my dear.
Farewell my beautiful blue,
Till the next time, although;
I fear our paths shall never again cross.....
Yesterday
Yesterday on Monday 1/11/2010 with camera in hand, I took a step back in time to a forgotton place, sitting silently in the past. I wandered around these old premises full of curiosities abandoned, and was captivated by the lives they had left behind.
I continued my journey past the canal and through the cemetary to a calm peaceful silence that is somehow comforting.
Why is it that a cemetary full of decomposed corpses exudes peace and calm?
Maybe because it's the place we lay to rest as our soul continues on it's journey.
I continued my journey past the canal and through the cemetary to a calm peaceful silence that is somehow comforting.
Why is it that a cemetary full of decomposed corpses exudes peace and calm?
Maybe because it's the place we lay to rest as our soul continues on it's journey.
Roy Barrett and Janeene Griffith like this.
Ransford Thomas wow hun they are amazing photo's full of Mystery and Intrigue but at the same time so peaceful
They must have given you pure pleasure :-) xx
2 November 2010 at 20:40 · ·1
Susan Oliver Tina beautifull you should write a book with pics, You have a good eye and a way with words a true artist xxxx
3 November 2010 at 17:57 ·
Elizabeth Begley.
Betty Begley from Glasgow with a soft voice, slight frame, blue eyes and the blondest of hair.
The girl I met when I was merely 15?
The girl who introduced me to snakebite.
The girl who was the first girl I knew with tattoos.
The girl who my brother loved and married, bore three children with and stayed friends with after the divorce.
I am so sorry that you left without having said goodbye.
I am so sorry that your body was ravaged by that vile disease.
I am so sorry that your children are left feeling numb and not quite sure what they are supposed to do next.
I am so sorry that the next time I see you, will be at a service and you will be inside a wooden box.
I am happy that you no longer have to be here, in pain, knowing that there is no return to life.
I am happy that your loved one's no longer have to awaken daily wondering "will today be the day?"
I am happy that everyone will have fond memories of you, moments shared together that eventually they will smile over.
I know that you will be happy in spirit.
I know that you will always be around your children and will watch your grandchildren grow.
I know that life goes on.
Stay safe Betty Begley.
I guess one day we will catch up with each other.
The girl I met when I was merely 15?
The girl who introduced me to snakebite.
The girl who was the first girl I knew with tattoos.
The girl who my brother loved and married, bore three children with and stayed friends with after the divorce.
I am so sorry that you left without having said goodbye.
I am so sorry that your body was ravaged by that vile disease.
I am so sorry that your children are left feeling numb and not quite sure what they are supposed to do next.
I am so sorry that the next time I see you, will be at a service and you will be inside a wooden box.
I am happy that you no longer have to be here, in pain, knowing that there is no return to life.
I am happy that your loved one's no longer have to awaken daily wondering "will today be the day?"
I am happy that everyone will have fond memories of you, moments shared together that eventually they will smile over.
I know that you will be happy in spirit.
I know that you will always be around your children and will watch your grandchildren grow.
I know that life goes on.
Stay safe Betty Begley.
I guess one day we will catch up with each other.
Sunday 10.4.11 14:23
I watch her in the afternoon sun; outstretched on the hard concrete, rolling her skinny body to feel the heat on all sides.
Her beautiful big yellow eyes against the shiny black fur, which somehow changes to dark chocolate as the sun catches her.
She moves to where I am seated, the stone slab supported either end with a lion, seated calmly with a mane flowing gently on his shoulder's.
She rubs herself against my leg, a little acknowledgement that she loves me and is happy to sit with me.
A queen bee buzzes in and around the dense hedgerow that is in need of a good trim. There's a cocophony of birdsong. I would tell you who sang what but alas I would be dishonest to pretend. But it sounds good.
She comes for some loving; her warm fur littered with grit and settles herself beside me, outstretched and content.
It's peaceful.
Fifi Miu Miu Fontainebleu
Her beautiful big yellow eyes against the shiny black fur, which somehow changes to dark chocolate as the sun catches her.
She moves to where I am seated, the stone slab supported either end with a lion, seated calmly with a mane flowing gently on his shoulder's.
She rubs herself against my leg, a little acknowledgement that she loves me and is happy to sit with me.
A queen bee buzzes in and around the dense hedgerow that is in need of a good trim. There's a cocophony of birdsong. I would tell you who sang what but alas I would be dishonest to pretend. But it sounds good.
She comes for some loving; her warm fur littered with grit and settles herself beside me, outstretched and content.
It's peaceful.
Fifi Miu Miu Fontainebleu- Tina Allman Thankyou darling. You are very sweet. How are you. Please let's get together for drinks.xxxx10 April 2011 at 20:53 ·
Justification?
Well, I guess we have all seen and heard the riots in Tottenham last night. Worth it?
The "friends" of the killed man obviously thought destroying a town, community and lives of people that had absolutely nothing to do with the event, was justification for a man's life.
People have lost their home, business, their lives are in turmoil for how long? Many of these people have no hope of rebuilding their lives, no personal insurance, low incomes. They have lost so many personal belongings that cannot ever be replaced with money.
The news reflects the impact this has had on the local community, but in the months to come, people who were forced to lose their homes and livelihood last night will still be struggling to rebuild their lives.
Is this justification for a man shot dead by police? A man armed with a gun who for whatever reason fired and shot a policeman?
I wasn't there; I can't speak for the dead man or the police but I'm sure this young man's mother is not feeling less pain from the events of last night; indeed I'm sure it has only intensified her grieving.
Comments please; I'm sure we all have a point of view.
Sunday, 7 August 2011 at 09:51
The "friends" of the killed man obviously thought destroying a town, community and lives of people that had absolutely nothing to do with the event, was justification for a man's life.
People have lost their home, business, their lives are in turmoil for how long? Many of these people have no hope of rebuilding their lives, no personal insurance, low incomes. They have lost so many personal belongings that cannot ever be replaced with money.
The news reflects the impact this has had on the local community, but in the months to come, people who were forced to lose their homes and livelihood last night will still be struggling to rebuild their lives.
Is this justification for a man shot dead by police? A man armed with a gun who for whatever reason fired and shot a policeman?
I wasn't there; I can't speak for the dead man or the police but I'm sure this young man's mother is not feeling less pain from the events of last night; indeed I'm sure it has only intensified her grieving.
Comments please; I'm sure we all have a point of view.
Sunday, 7 August 2011 at 09:51
Mumsie Hazel
Mumsie Hazel
by Tina Allman on Sunday, 6 November 2011 at 11:59
I can only see you with your smile because you were never without it.
Your girly laugh that was so infectious,
Your sense of adventure and fun.
Your gentle touch that warmed the souls of everyone that knew you,
Your kindness that never left you.
Your ability to notice what others missed,
Your overwhelming love for your family and friends.
You always found the good and ran with it,
You always filled our hearts.
I know you're not far, stay safe.
Best Friends
Best Friends
Angel in flight.
Your girly laugh that was so infectious,
Your sense of adventure and fun.
Your gentle touch that warmed the souls of everyone that knew you,
Your kindness that never left you.
Your ability to notice what others missed,
Your overwhelming love for your family and friends.
You always found the good and ran with it,
You always filled our hearts.
I know you're not far, stay safe.
Best FriendsBest FriendsAngel in flight.
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