I'm a selfish f***er and we both know that. I've got a lot on my plate and I want to be left alone.
That's fine, you just needed to say. There was no need to watch from the window with your mates and ignore me ringing the bell or calling your phone. I am not a mind reader and do not wish to be treated so badly.
The blatant disregard for me and my feelings as a person is what hurts. I am always there to pick you up when you fall, over and over, yet truth is hard for you and for some reason you find it easier to be mean...
You: I'll pop round yours this eve
Me: No, not a good idea to come to mine
You: Why isn't it?
Me: It just isn't
You: I've got to go out, I'll pop to yours tomorrow
Me: I wont be home tomorrow. Sorry.

Hello. It's 22:29 here in the U.K and I am debating whether to go to bed as I have to be up at 6am and I hate getting out of bed. I mean, I'm not grumpy in the morning (in fact, I am rarely grumpy) but I love my bed and if I could have my bed in the lounge rather than a sofa I would. It's my favourite place. What's yours?
Today. What did you do with your time?
I never wear a watch on my day off as I refuse to be concerned with time so I chilled till late in the morning, showered, ate crisps for breakfast (potato chips) cleaned up a little, went for a walk then picked my daughter up from work (only to bring her home, wait while she packed a overnight bag then drop her at the train station). I would like to tell you my day was more exciting but that would be untrue so I wont.
Do you think maybe we all experience loneliness at some point in our lives?
Do you think it is an awareness that makes us more determined?
More determined to?
To get off our butts and get out there?
I think it is so easy to become mundane and a point is reached when it's time for change. The question is; How to change things?
Sometimes I wish I could pack a bag, get in my car, get the channel tunnel to France and drive around Europe for around 6 months or until I felt like coming back. Unfortunately life is never so simple.
Please don't read this and think I'm miserable; I'm not. I'm just thinking out loud.

Well hello,
this is my second blog page coz I'm stoopid and deleted my previous. Ah, what the heck, here I am back again.
So, Farm shops:
How many of you use them? I went to the farm shop this afternoon and bought fresh farm eggs, home grown onions, tomatoes and purple sprouting all for the grand sum of; I think £3.50.
Why wouldn't you use your local farmer where produce is fresh and local? I love going to my local butcher who will cut anything for you and farmers alike all need support from their local community. So do yourself a favour, find your local farm shop and try to buy from them rather than pre- packed supermarkets. Now I'm not pretending that I don't use "the giants" of course I do, It's convenient but you know what; I really am making a effort to visit the farm shop weekly and not buy my veg elsewhere.
You know what was great about it? I walked in to this little hut and a note on the counter said "Just in the field, beep your horn for service and I wont be long"
True enough he wasn't. This great little guy with a smile and weathered skin already sunkissed.
Try it, you'll love it and farmers alike will benefit.